Purim  I believe that the nature of the simcha of Purim is sorely misunderstood.  When it comes to other occasions we generally know what is expected of us.  Our preparations for Yom Kippur begin on Rosh Chodesh Elul, we then blow shofar on Rosh Hashana, there are selichot, all in an effort to bring us to tshuva and establish a closer relationship with the A-mighty.  I would not be exaggerating if I were to say that there are very few people out there, including many people in Yeshiva, who feel that Purim is a day of avodat Hashem - I will not even mention some of the negative sides, like poking fun at others in an insensitive manner, davening while intoxicated, and more.  Anyone who is meritorious enough to be able to daven on Purim even like an ordinary day has already reached a level.

I believe the reason for this is obvious.  All other times of the year, even if we don't feel something inside the outer façade gives an idea of what the day is about.  We may not feel the presence of angels while singing Shalom Aleichem on Shabbat, but our children feel that there is a certain keudsha in the air.  No child can mistake the serious nature of Yom Kippur, such that he will be afraid to make light of it.  Pesach preparations begin after Purim, we feel something special at the Seder as we discuss the exodus from Egypt.  Few are able to truly capture the days and rise to higher levels, as Chazal teach us there are few true bnei aliyah, but at least a message is transmitted regarding the uniqueness of the day and what we are supposed to gain from it.  

What about Purim, what external message is the child or any onlooker receiving?  He sees people crossing lines of what are acceptable norms of behavior, he even sees this among people who do internalize the importance of the day.  I am not sure how we can rectify the situation, but let's at least try to understand how Purim fits into our framework of avodat Hashem.  People are so far removed from that, that even one who wonders what the required avoda is for this day is already on a level.  

The Mishna in Massechet Ta'anit writes that just as when Av enters we lessen our joy, so too Mishenichnas Adar marbin besimcha.  Av begins with a certain atmosphere, the Ashkenazim begin already on Shiva Asar B'Tamuz.  We all feel the need not only to observe particular halachot of mourning, but to try to work on ourselves to understand what life was like with a Beit HaMikdash and what we are missing.  The Mishna is teaching us that the same is true for Adar, we must begin to work on ourselves to reach a level of true simcha of Purim.  Chayav inish libesumei does not mean to get so drunk that we get wild, but simcha.  What is simcha?  Simcha is when we do not discern the difference between Arur Haman and Baruch Mordechai - why don't we know the difference?  Because we have reached such a close connection to the A-mighty that it does not make a difference, Haman is nothing - ein od milvado - there is none beside Him.  There is great awareness today of ein od milvado, there bumper stickers attesting to that, externally there is ein od milvado, but our job is to feel it.

How does one achieve such a level?  The Ramban at the end of Parshat Bo writes that the purpose of the creation is for man to reach this level.  Mitzvoth are given to us in order that we reach a level of thanking Hashem for all He has done for us.  When you believe that Hashem created the world and has given us life then everything falls into place.  If it is due to Him that I breathe then how can I go against His will?  Why are there Batei Midrash and Batei Knesset?  In order for man to declare in public and thank Hashem for having created us.  The Ramban writes that the purpose of all the miracles in Egypt are to teach us that there is no such thing as nature, Hashem runs the world.  Whoever does not believe in this has no share in the Torah of Moshe Rabenu.  This is ein od milvado 

The Rama begins the Shulchan Aruch with: "shiviti Hashem lenegdi tamid, zeh klal gadol bemaalot hatzadikim" "I have set Hashem before me always, this is a great principle in the greatness of the righteous".  Setting Hashem before me always means that He runs the world, His presence is always before us.  A person who truly feels this leads his life totally differently.  You wake up in the morning and run to say modeh ani thanking Him for giving you life.  This is the beginning of Orach Chaim.

What are the Rama's closing words to Orach Chaim: tov lev bemishte tamid, "a good hearted person feasts perpetually" (from Mishle 15:15).  What is the connection between placing Hashem before us always and between being in a state of constant feasting?  Notice each has the word tamid - always.  We can now explain as follows: a person cannot reach a level of true simcha unless he first believes that ein od milvado.  Purim is our opportunity, through the mishte, to feel the ein od milvado.  How?  Let me ask you, how can anyone be happy?  We have so many worries, from the time we are small to the time we are looking for a shidduch, trying to earn a living, trying to properly raise our children.  As parents we worry about the health of our children, as children with older parents we worry about them - how can we be happy?  Why is this not working out?  I tried this it didn't work, what is wrong with me, what will become of me?  Being happy does not mean that for one fleeting moment we have forgotten all our cares - remember, the next morning the wine wears off and you are back to where you were before.

Happiness is the realization that Hashem is leading us, He is so good to me and does what is good for me.  When things don't work out the way we want them to it is because they are not good for us.  What joy this realization brings!

The Ramchal writes that Jewish Yom Tovim are not mere observances of historical events.  Pesach is not simply the day we left Egypt and Shavuot is not simply the day the Torah was given, there is much more to it than that.  These days are special year after year, they are opportunities, there are lights descending from heaven which light up and give us an opportunity to grow.  On Shavuot we have a chance to reaccept the Torah, on Pesach we receive the same revelations of Hashem's Divine Providence.  It is up to us to work on ourselves to feel and grab them.  The same applies to Purim.  Other great events in history are not observed, we do not observe the day the sun stood still - Shemesh beGivon Dom or the day the nation crossed the Yarden.  These were great events, but there is nothing unusual about the day itself, these days do not have the same illumination as Yom Tovim including Purim do.

Ein od milvado is something we must feel every day of the year, but there are certain times when we can grab things which will remain with us and raise us to a higher level.  Next year the experience of the day will begin that much higher.  What was the great illumination of Purim?  From the time of Yetziat Mitzrayim and for several years later, the Jewish nation merited great Divine Revelation.  At Yetziat Mitzrayim they were able to point to Hashem - zeh keili ve-anvehu.  Then came Har Sinai, we can't even relate to what it means to have Hashem speak directly to us and then to Moshe Rabenu.  The entire nation were prophets, the Schina was with them, yes there was the chet haegel, but they felt the Divine Presence in the center of their lives.  They built a mishkan in the desert with the Shchina at the center.  They felt Hashem during all the highs and lows for many years.

Suddenly Hashem sent Yirmiyahu and other prophets to inform them that if they do not change their ways and return to Hashem then the Shchina will depart.  The people refused to believe it and tried to harm Yirmiyahu. How could he say such terrible things?  Finally the prophecy came true and not only was the Beit HaMikdash destroyed but the people were sent into exile.  How were they to understand this?  Hashem actually threw them out, is this the end of the Jewish nation?

Between the destruction of the first Beit HaMikdash and the building of the second Beit HaMikdash there lived a king named Achashverosh who followed the advice of his viceroy Haman and decreed that all Jews be annihilated.  After al they had been through, it was true, they were right - this was the end of Klal Yisrael, G-d forbid.  The people cried out to Hashem and suddenly everything changed.  The people repented and the decree was rescinded.  Hashem is saying: "don't you see, I am with you in your exile."  They were wrong - this was not the end of the Jewish people.  What a wonderful feeling, what tremendous chizuk this day gave them.  Hashem's Name is not written in the megillah because there was no great revelation, no splitting of any sea, it was a feeling the people all had deep inside them - we may be in exile but Hashem is with us, we want to be His nation - ein od milvado.  There is no Nebuchadnezzar, no Haman, only Hashem controls the world.

This illumination of Purim was so great that the people ran to accept the Torah.  At Har Sinai they were coerced (according to the commentaries they were not literally coerced but the revelation was so great that they saw no choice but to follow Hashem).  There were no external lights on Purim, there were illuminations within ourselves.  This illumination returns every year, as it does with other Yom Tovim.  Purim is the Yom Tov of ein od milvado.  How do we reach this level?  Are we not worried about tomorrow's problems and yesterday's problems?  This is the role of the wine.  Wine brings simcha because it removes us from the worries of this world.  Why are children happy?  Because they don't have the worries of adults.  By drinking wine we have a chance to focus on what is real in this world.  Our worries get in the way of our coming close to Hashem, the wine allows us to forget these worries and focus on what is real.  When a person drinks just to become wild and let loose then his davening is not davening, he is not nice to people.  Mishenichnas Adar marbin besimcha is the time we come close to Hashem.

What about our problems?  What about my children's shidduchim, I can't seem to pay my bills, Iran is threatening our existence.  Hashem is in charge, He gives us these worries because they are ultimately for our own good - would Hashem Who is all good do something which is not for our own good, perhaps this will bring me closer to Hashem and cause me to rise to a higher level.   When a person lives his life with the true meaning of what it means to feast with the goal of shiviti Hashem lenegdi tamid then he has fulfilled the purpose of creation and the goal of the Torah.  Purim is an opportunity to reach this level.  This level brings us a great feeling of joy because by realizing that it is all in Hashem's Hands we have removed the obstacle that is standing in the way of our happiness.  We are not afraid, Hashem knows what is good for us.  Many are craving honor and respect from the whole world, but Hashem may decide this is not good for us.  We may not feel this joy the morning after Purim, but the impression of these days of Purim remains.

Rashi, commenting on the Mishna of Mishenichnas Adar marbin besimcha writes that our increased joy is for the miracles of Purim and Pesach.  What is Rashi teaching us?  We can apply the words of the Ramchal - these are days of illumination, opportunities to come close and connect to Hashem, these are causes for joy.  Every year there are points which are illuminated.  The cycle begins with Pesach where we realize that there is a Creator who created the world and chose Am Yisrael.  We then observe Shavuot where we receive the Torah, Sukkot we live with Hashem tachat kanfei HaSchina.  The climax is Purim.  Purim is different, the halachot of the day do not give it a special status, it is not a Yom Tov.  Purim appears like an ordinary day because a cursory glance at the megillah makes it seem like it is all coincidence.  However, this is a day where we can reach the true simcha, the true feeling of peace and serenity where we have no worries because we realize Hashem is guiding us.

Massechet Megillah seems to end on a note which has no relevance to Purim or to the rest of the Massechet: R' Elazar says that Hashem will make a mechol for the tzaddikim (one opinion is that they will dance and another view is that people will dance around them), in the middle of the circle will be HaKadosh Baruch Hu.  All the people will be able to point their finger at Hashem.  That is the end of Massechet Megillah because that is Purim - we can reach a level of being able to point and say zeh Elokenu.  This is the gift of Purim.  It is possible to reach this level, many people in previous generations were able to.

In Mizmor Shir Chanukat HaBayit it is written "ki rega be-apo chayim birtzono", there is one moment of anger but then we realize that chayim birtzono - our life is in His hands.  There are many unpleasant times in a person's life - a person needs an operation, it costs money, it is painful.  But baerev yalin bechi velaboker rina - in the end there will be joy because we will realize the truth, that it was all for our good.

Purim was venahafoch hu, they thought the future looked dim but then there was cause for joy.  There are not two sides of the coin, Hashem runs the world and is doing what is good for us - the other side is pure sheker.

Purim is a day of avodat Hashem and we must strive to fulfill it.  How do we rectify the situation we began speaking about that the nature of Purim is not apparent on the outside.  I am not sure if there is a solution, but perhaps when it comes to our own children we can teach them the story of Haman's decree and our beings saved.  We can show them how good Hashem is for us, but just as we are wearing masks He too sometimes wears a mask.  Compare this to a parent bringing up a child, sometimes we place him in hot water then in cold water, we punish him, we praise him - we are driving him crazy, but in the end we are working for his own good.  This is the message of Purim - everything is for our own good - Hashem is our Father.  When we act improperly He has to guide us back on the proper path. We have a chance to experience and feel this, let us not waste this opportunity. 

Our entire life we know intellectually that Hashem is there, but what about our hearts?  The Kotzker Rebbe writes that the distance between intellect and heart is greater than the distance between heaven and earth.  When we drink, our intellect becomes confused, this allows us to open our hearts to Hashem and His Torah.  May Hahsem remove our mask from us and may we merit coming close to Hashem and observing Purim as it is meant to be.