Many people will not be in the synagogue this Rosh Hashanah. Others will likely attend abbreviated services and will find themselves home for the bulk of the days. Transitioning from a Rosh Hashanah centered around synagogue service to a Rosh Hashanah centered at home can be difficult. It has been more than a decade since I was last in shul on Rosh Hashanah for more than a brief visit to hear the shofar with little babies or young children in tow. While davening remains part of my Rosh Hashanah service, my central “avodah” of the day is not confined to the Mahzor. 

There is a well-known idea that our actions and attitudes toward others can affect how Hashem judges us. My “avodah” on Rosh Hashanah is to try to imitate Hashem and to remain patient. Be it with children, parents, a spouse or roommate, “Don’t get angry,” is the mantra. We do not want our missteps to “anger” Hashem. We hope our past insolence will be overlooked, that our shortcomings and even outright disregard for His commands can be forgiven. In turn, we must overlook the actions or inactions of others that might otherwise anger us. Surely, the sights and sounds of services in shul more easily inspire, but earthly interactions also hold an opportunity to elevate. 

The pandemic and lockdown have revealed the obvious. Extended exposure to people in confined spaces can lead to increased friction, but on Rosh Hashanah it is especially important not to let the pandemic get the better of us. This is the challenge of spending Rosh Hashanah at home, but not alone.

Remaining patient is not only pragmatic on the Day of Judgement, but a first step in the process of character perfection outlined by the kabbalist R. Moshe Cordovero, in his 16th-century ethical work, Tomer Devorah. The first of the 13 Divine Middot, or qualities of Hashem that we should emulate, is patience. As described by Tomer Devorah on the words מי א-ל כמוך (Michah 7:18), Hashem is so patient that even in the moments when we sin against Him he does not cut us off, but “endures” the insult of our sins, and continues to provide us with life and the bodily wherewithal to perform the very acts that signify our disregard for Him! “Who is like You Hashem?” we proclaim. To swallow such insolence and to still lovingly provide. Every parent, caregiver, and friend has experienced such moments. The pain of being mistreated by those we provide for the most. As humans created in the Divine image we are meant to learn from Hashem’s endless patience. To tilt the scales in our favor we too need to be “slow to anger,” patient and loving in the face of complaints and non-compliance from those closest to us, and committed to rising to the challenge of providing for those who depend on us, even in their worst moments.