This week’s Parsha opens up with an accounting of the materials used to build the Mishkan, as well as a listing those specially involved in its construction- Moshe, Ohaliav, and Bezalel.

Rashi notes that Bezalel had a unique ability to intuit what Hashem wanted, even when it wasn’t explicitly told to him. He quotes a well-known Gemara regarding the order of how everything was constructed. The gemara describes that Moshe initially instructed Bezalel to first build the keilim of the Mishkan, followed by the actual Mishkan itself. But Bezalel questioned Moshe’s directive, reasoning that the general custom is to first build a house, and only then to build the furnishings that will go inside the structure. To this Moshe exclaimed, “you were in G-d’s shadow” (a reference to Bezalel’s name) when He commanded me the construction, because in fact G-d had commanded that Mishkan to be built before its keilim.

While Bezalel’s response to Moshe makes a lot of sense, many meforshim note a fundamental question on the text that remains. If in fact Hashem commanded the Mishkan itself to be built first, as Moshe says, then why did Moshe command in Parshat Terumah the creation of the keilim first, and only then the Mishkan ? The Maharal, in his commentary on Rashi entitled Gur Arye, gives a fascinating explanation. He suggests that from a purely spiritual perspective, the furnishings in the Mishkan were more important than the structure of the Mishkan- as the keilim were the objects used to carry out the Avodah in the Mishkan. Therefore Moshe, who was describing how everything was meant to be constructed on a theoretical plane, mentioned the keilim first, because of their central importance. However, Bezalel, whose role was to shift the instructions from the theoretical to the practical, understood the importance of practically building the Mishkan first, before the keilim. Therefore, he corrected Moshe regarding the actual building.

Although this discussion between Moshe and Bezalel deals with the construction of a physical entity, there is much we can learn from their conversation regarding the importance of context and framework. As important as it is in the physical realm to make sure that any objects we build have a place in which to put them, the same is true of any ideas and values that we try to convey to others. If we have a powerful and beautiful message to share, but those we share it with don’t have the internal space or ability to “hold” what we share with them, then the message will pass on by, having no effect on those we were trying to impact.

I believe that this idea is extremely important for us in parenting, in a couple of ways.

Firstly, we have to realize the significance of a child’s early years- when he is a baby, toddler, and young child. These are years when developmentally, cognitively, and emotionally, much of the foundation of our child’s character is formed. It is during these years that we are given the opportunity to shape the outer contours of who our child will be, the overall base of who he will become, and what he will be capable of receiving and internalizing. Our focus at this point is much more on creating the structure of our child, and less on the content within. If we expend effort during these years and are successful at forming and shaping him, then he will be properly primed and prepared to receive all that we will want to give him as he gets older- all the lessons, ideas, and messages that we would like to inculcate within him. If, however, we are fail to develop and shape his foundation properly, then, in the later years, when we strive to transmit messages and life lessons to him, he may not be able to receive and maintain those messages- as we did not help him become the vessel capable of receiving all that we have to give over.

Secondly, at all stages in our children’s development- throughout both childhood and adolescence- we must make sure that the messages and lessons that we teach our kids, as well as the expectations that we have of them, are appropriate for their age and maturity level. We must determine whether or not each child, at his current age and maturity level, can receive and “hold” our advice and/or expectations. If we try to push ideas or expectations that our children are not capable of internalizing, for whatever the reason, then not only will we be unsuccessful at conveying those messages to our child, but it may hurt our child- similar to trying to fit a large piece of furniture within a small area. Not only does it not fit, but the effort to stuff it in causes damage to the outer structure as well.

We may be tempted to argue, as Moshe did, that the content, messages, and values that we want to impart to our children are really the ikar, most important from a religious perspective- and therefore the focus of our efforts should be on the content itself, and not on creating the vessel within which it can be contained. However, as Bezalel correctly pointed out, while Moshe’s logic was correct from a theoretical perspective, it was fundamentally flawed from a practical perspective. As important as the keilim of the Mishkan were, without a proper structure to house and contain them, they have no value or significance. Similarly, as important as the values that we want to impart to our children are, if our children are not old enough, mature enough, or developed enough to truly appreciate and accept what we have to teach them, then they have no significance.

As Am Yisrael came together to build the Mishkan, Moshe and Bezalel debate and discuss the relationship and dynamic between a structure and that contents that it contains. This discussion has tremendous importance, both in the physical and spiritual realm- and is extremely relevant for us as parents, looking to properly raise the next generation.

Shabbat Shalom!