ויבוא אברהם לספוד לשרה ולבכותה - And Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and to cry for her.

The Halacha is [Moed Katan 27b, SA 394-1] that the crying is first for the first 3 days and eulogy comes after the crying for 7 days. So it would be more appropriate to first mention the crying and only then the eulogizing. Why does the eulogy come first??


Chazal [cited by Rashi] tell us that Sarah died when she heard of the Akeida - פרחה נשמתה. Her Neshama "flew" away. How can that be? Sarah was greater in prophecy than Avraham and Avraham didn't ask any questions on Hashem [until after he was told NOT to sacrifice his son]. So how can Sarah be so traumatized that she died. She should seemingly have accepted the decree of Hashem with equanimity as did her husband?!!

It could be that the Akeida was an atonement for the question Avraham asked "במה אדע כי אירשנה" - How will I know that I will inherit Eretz Yisrael? When commanded to sacrifice Yitzchak he asked no questions even though this command apparently contradicted what Hashem had promised him, namely that a great nation would emanate from Yitzchak. Avraham understood that Hashem can create a reality where two contradictory realities coexist. The One who said שמור וזכור בדיבור אחד can also manage with the seeming contradiction of the promise of a nation together with the sacrifice of Yitzchak. We already find that the ארון was on one hand a physical entity but at the same time took up no space in the Holy Of Holies. הארון אינו מן המדה. Human intellect is often stumped when trying to resolve contradictions but Hashem's Intellect is well beyond our perception. Avraham appreciated that and asked nothing.

The merit of Avraham's simple faith stood his descendants in good stead and they were able to say נעשה ונשמע promising to fulfill even w/o knowing what was to be commanded due to their desire and passion to fulfill the will of Hashem.

Says the Gemara in Rosh Hashana [16a]

Similarly, Rabbi Abbahu said: Why does one sound a blast with a shofar made from a ram’s horn on Rosh HaShana? The Holy One, Blessed be He, said: Sound a blast before Me with a shofar made from a ram’s horn, so that I will remember for you the binding of Yitzchak, son of Avraham, in whose stead a ram was sacrificed, and I will ascribe it to you as if you had bound yourselves before Me.

The reason that this is such a great merit for us is that not only was Avraham willing to sacrifice his beloved son at the command of Hashem but in addition he also asked no questions of Hashem who had seemingly contradicted Himself. He probably would not even have listened to the angel who told him not to slaughter Yitzchak until the angel said "ואל תעש לו מאומה" - Don't do ANYTHING. Maybe, thought Avraham to himself, Hashem just said "והעלהו לעולה" - Bring him up as an Olah, but who said I have to slaughter him. Maybe I should place him on the mizbeach and that is enough. But he wasn't sure. Since the rule is ספק נפשות להקל and we are especially careful to preserve human life, he decided to assume that Hashem really doesn't desire Yitzchak as a sacrifice. However, he was still in doubt which caused him no small amount of emotional distress.

That is why the angel said to him "בי נשבעתי נאום השם" - The angel swore to Avraham with his entire being "בי נשבעתי" that the command to desist came from Hashem - "נאום השם".

Now how wondrous is the difference between Avraham and Sarah that Avraham was able to hear Hashem's command and almost carry it out while Sarah who was great in prophecy died when hearing what almost happened. How does prophecy work? A person [who is spiritually worthy] is one hundred percent completely focused on the prophecy. Nothing else exists other than what their soul desires to see. The prophet goes wholly into the world of emotion and imagination [רגש ודימיון] and merits prophecy.

We see the same phenomenon in daily life. Sometimes a person is super-razor-sharp-focused on one goal and can't think of anything else. "In the zone" to the exclusion of all else. They feel no hunger or thirst or fatigue or anything else.

The reason we have this capacity is in order to use it to completely cling to the Living G-d. That is why a Navi is in mortal danger of completely giving himself over to the Light to the extent that he is in danger of perishing. So he must be careful to be "מטי ולא מטי" and "והחיות רצוא ושוב" which means that he approaches the Infinite Light but then recoils, approaches but then recoils, in order not to be completely swallowed up by the rapture of the experience. Moshe was a unique prophet insofar as his body, his כלי, was so pure, that he was not in danger of being overcome with spirituality to the point of having to leave his body. "ודבר ה' אל משה פנים אל פנים" [Shmos 33/11].

Sarah was on such a level that when she heard about the Akeida, she was so overcome with a love and pining for the Divine, that her body was overcome and could no longer contain her burning passionate soul. The אורות were too strong for the כלים. So her Neshama exited her body. פרחה נשמתה. It flew to the heavens.


Why does crying precede mourning? The passing of a person is a time of התגברות הדינים - very strong judgments, on the נפטר. The relatives feel this on a subconscious soul level and cry along with him. So it makes sense that that crying precedes the eulogy. The דינים are so strong and the anguish is so great that there is no room to mention the positive qualities of the person in a eulogy.

But when it came to Sarah there were no דינים. She died with a מיתת נשיקה, a "kiss" from above that took her yearning, pining soul from her body. She had this tremendous תשוקה [related to the word נשיקה] and desire to connect to Hashem when she heard of the Akeida that her body could no longer contain her soul. Too many אורות with insufficient כלים. She didn't employ the mechanism of "מטי ולא מטי" coming close but not going all the way. She went all the way and didn't come back. There was "רצוא" without the "שוב". In this instance one should offer the eulogy before the crying b/c there is no punishment for the נפטרת and all the crying is a result of the loss felt when hearing the eulogy.

The Torah writes ולבכותה with a small "כ" so that the word can be read "ולבותה" an allusion to the word "לבבתני" [see Shir Hashirim 4-9] which means "משיכה" being drawn. Sarah passed away b/c she was drawn so strongly to the Divine Light.


[עפ"י תורת מרן הרב חרל"פ זצוק"ל]