In Parshas Toldos, after twenty childless years, Yitzchak and Rivka become the parents of twin boys, Yaakov and Eisav.  As the boys grow up. their divergent paths become apparent.  Eisav is a hunter and trapper who spends his days in the field, and Yaakov is a pure man, who spends his days in the tents of Torah.

One day, when Yaakov is cooking a lentil stew, Eisav comes home tired and hungry from his day in the field.  When Eisav sees the lentil stew, he demands that Yaakov pour some of that “red, red stuff” into his mouth.  Yaakov makes a deal with Eisav.  In exchange for the firstborn rights, Yaakov will sell Eisav the stew.  Eisav, a glutton and man of pleasures of this world, has no use for the avodas Hashem that comes along with the bechorah, and he happily sells his status for bread and stew.  

Fast forward many years, and Yitzchak is an old man, who wants to bless his firstborn son, Eisav, before he dies.  Rivka, understanding through ru’ach ha’kodesh and the bina yeseirah of an isha (cf. Niddah 45b, the extra measure of intuition that a woman is invested with, more than a man) that it is Yaakov, and not Eisav, who must receive the blessings - for the continuity of Am Yisrael that would be born - arranges for Yaakov to go to Yitzchak and receive the blessings.  

Yaakov is hesitant to go along with his mother’s scheme, as he says to his mother: אוּלַי יְמֻשֵּׁנִי אָבִי, וְהָיִיתִי בְעֵינָיו כִּמְתַעְתֵּעַ; וְהֵבֵאתִי עָלַי קְלָלָה, וְלֹא בְרָכָה - perhaps father will feel me and I will be in his eyes as a mocker, and I will bring upon myself curse, and not blessing (Bereishis 27:12).  However, Rivka understands this is an absolute imperative for Yaakov, and she replies: עָלַי קִלְלָתְךָ בְּנִי; אַךְ שְׁמַע בְּקֹלִי, וְלֵךְ קַח-לִי - upon me will be any curse that shall befall you, my son; only listen to my voice and go and take for me (two young goats to prepare delicacies for father) (v.13).  

Yaakov dresses in Eisav’s hunting garments, cloaking his smooth arms in fur, and Rivka prepares tasty delicacies for Yaakov to bring to father, so that he will bless him. 

Based on Yaakov’s choice of words, and the polite way in which he addresses his father (v.19 - Please rise up and sit, and eat from my trappings, so that your soul may bless me), and the fact that he invokes Shem Hashem when speaking to Yitzchak (v.20 - Hashem arranged it for me today), Yitzchak understands this is not his son Eisav.  It must be Yaakov.  Eisav does not say ‘please’ and he does not invoke the name of Hashem when speaking of events in life.  

Hence, the pasuk tells us that: וַיִּגַּשׁ יַעֲקֹב אֶל-יִצְחָק אָבִיו וַיְמֻשֵּׁהוּ; וַיֹּאמֶר, הַקֹּל קוֹל יַעֲקֹב, וְהַיָּדַיִם, יְדֵי עֵשָׂו - and Yaakov drew close to YItzchak his father, and he (Yitzchak) felt him (Yaakov).  And he (Yitzchak) said: the voice is the voice of Yaakov, but the hands are the hands of Eisav (ibid., 22).

Rav Avrohom Pam zt’l teaches that Yaakov even imitated Eisav’s voice when speaking to his father (according to the Ramban), but nevertheless, he tried to stay as close as possible to the truth without revealing his true identity. 

However, Rav Pam teaches, “something is puzzling about this.  Why didn’t he take the most elementary step of talking in the gruff, crude manner of Eisav?  Why did he mention the Name of Hashem, something Eisav would never do?  This aroused Yitzchak’s suspicion and made him wonder out loud at ‘the voice that is the voice of Yaakov.’

“Rav Moshe Shternbuch shlita addresses this issue and explains that while Yaakov was able to go along with all the steps of deception suggested by his mother, this was something he could not do.  To speak in the coarse, rude manner of Eisav was so foreign to him that he would rather give up the brachos altogether or risk being exposed as an imposter.  The trait of proper, respectful speech was so ingrained in him that he was not capable of changing it.  As the pasuk in Shir HaShirim (5:6) says, ‘נַפְשִׁי יָצְאָה בְדַבְּרוֹ’ - (which can be interpreted as) ‘a person’s soul is revealed when he speaks.’  

In contrast to Yaakov, who could not speak like a rasha even in times of (spiritual) peril, “On the other hand, even though Eisav excelled in the mitzvah of honoring his father, kibbud av, he was not able to change his rude and disrespectful manner of speaking.  When he served his father, he addressed him rudely and with arrogance: ‘Rise, Father!’ (27:31), Eisav demanded of Yitzchak.  Even at this critical moment, he could not speak in a pleasant, respectful fashion.

“One can learn from here how vitally important it is to train oneself, one’s children, and one’s students to speak in a courteous, gracious manner.  It is a trait one can carry with him all his life, and as the Rambam writes (Hilchos Dei’os 5:7), a pleasant way of speaking is the hallmark of a talmid chacham” (A Vort from Rav Pam, Artscroll Mesorah, p.55-56).

What a meaningful, important and impactful lesson this is.  When one trains himself to think, act, speak, and behave - in all times and in all places - like a ben or bas Torah, and an eved Hashem, improper behavior becomes such an anathema to him, that even when such negative behavior may be justified, he cannot lower himself to that level.  

Though Yaakov knew that the brachos - and the future of the nation he would father - were at stake, he simply could not speak like a rasha.  

In the coarse and crude world in which we, unfortunately, live, where purity, refinement and modesty are absent, and people - from the simple man to world leaders and politicians - think nothing of guarding their speech, we must be different.  We must remember we are the children of the Avos, we are precious to Hashem, and it is the holiness of Torah that must dictate our every thought, our every action, and our every word.

In this way, we will live lives of Kiddush Shem Shomayim in all that we do, and bring elevation and purity to our nation and our Land.

בברכת בשורות טובות ושבת שלום