It isn’t hard to imagine an affair ending in the death of the cheating wife, but we are probably not picturing the scene that is mentioned in this week’s parsha. The process of a Sotah, the suspect wife, is that she is taken to the Temple and she is tested with a specially prepared solution. If she is guilty then she will die a miraculous death, if she is not guilty then nothing will happen to her and she will experience blessing in her future child bearing. The Ramban points out that this is the only time that Hashem promises a sustained miracle as part of a Mitzva. Why would Hashem pick this as the one consistent miracle that is promised in the Torah? Why would a cheating wife deserve a miracle at all?

Let’s take a step back and remember the situation we are dealing with. When a woman drinks the water as a Sotah is means that she is suspect in a very specific way. The Torah, elucidated by the oral tradition, lays out the process. First, her husband suspects her of being too friendly with a man. Then he tells her that she should not be alone with him (which she shouldn’t do anyway). If she subsequently is witnessed going into seclusion with the person that her husband has warned her about, she is declared a Sotah and drinks the water. We can only assume that the husband at this point has lost faith completely in his wife. She has acted in a way that made her husband suspect her of having an affair and his suspicions were all but confirmed when after being warned she was seen entering a secluded area with the suspected adulterer!

This marriage is in jeopardy. If only there were some way to introduce trust back into the relationship. The woman swears that she didn’t go through with the affair, but the husband has no faith in her word. The situation seems hopeless. Hashem offers a way for the marriage to survive. The woman is taken to the Temple and goes through the Sotah process, she can prove her innocence in a way that the husband must believe, and in doing so will begin to mend the bond between them. The fractured trust has begun to be mended. There is much more work to do but the husband’s mind rests a little easier for now he truly knows that his wife has remained faithful.

The institution of marriage is of paramount importance in Judaism. The Talmud (Gittin ) tells us that even the altar sheds tears when a marriage ends in divorce. The only time Hashem is willing to use a miracle on a consistent basis is to help mend the ties of trust between a husband and wife. The Ramban says that the Mitzva of Sotah is a gift for the Jewish people that we only have when we are worthy. When the horrible sin of adultery got out of hand the miracle of Sotah discontinued. Hashem will help us protect the sanctity of marriage, even through a miracle, but only if we help ourselves. When we show that the institution of marriage is sacred and paramount then we will merit the divine assistance to keep it that way. We must remain faithful to our spouses, our families, our people and our G-d.