In this week's parsha the Torah refers back to ma'amad Har Sinai and I wanted to discuss different approaches to a minhag which some say is related to ma'amad Har Sinai.

There is an old custom that the chassan delivers a d'var Torah at the chassan's tisch on the day of his wedding.[i] There are different reasons mentioned for this minhag. One straightforward explanation is that the chassan and kallah represent Am Yisroel and HaKadosh Boruch Hu at ma'amad Har Sinai. The marriage of a chassan and kallah is compared to the connection created between HaKadosh Boruch Hu and Am Yisroel at ma'amad Har Sinai. The Mishna (Ta'anis 26b) establishes this association between Hashem's taking of B'nei Yisroel at ma'amad Har Sinai to be His nation and the marriage of a chassan and kallah. The Mishna says, “b'yom chasunaso zeh matan Torah.” In the context of the Mishna, the posuk is describing that Hashem had a great love for B'nei Yisroel, and when He gave us the Torah, it was similar to a wedding day.

The seforim point out that there are many minhagim at the wedding which reflect this idea. For example, Hashem gave us all of the wealth of the Egyptians when we left Mitzrayim. Some say this wealth was like the kesef kidushin. Others say that the Torah itself was like the wedding ring which Hashem used, to in a sense, have nesuin with B'nei Yisreol.[ii] Therefore, just as at matan Torah Hashem gave us the Torah, so the chassan at his wedding says a d'var Torah.

Another angle on the chassan's d'var Torah is that even at the happiest moment of his life, the chasson does not, chas v'shalom, forget Hashem and His Torah. He wants to show that his marriage and home will be based on the Torah. A third approach is that the chassan wants to be mesame’ach his kallah, and one way to do this is to show that he is a talmid chacham, that she has the zechus of marrying a talmid chacham.[iii]

Rav Soloveitchik zt”l once developed a different explanation for this custom[iv]. The chassan has a chiyuv simcha. The minhag of the chassan saying Divrei Torah flows from his own chiyuv simcha. The explanation is as follows.

The Rambam (Hilchos Yom Tov Ch. 6, Halacha 20) teaches that when a person is eating and drinking and being happy on yom tov, he should not focus only on his own eating and the drinking. The Rambam writes,

When one eats and drinks on a festival day, he should not over indulge in wine, merriment, and frivolity in the belief that the more he does this, the more he is fulfilling the commandment to rejoice. For drunkenness and excessive merry making and frivolity are not rejoicing, and we are commanded to indulge not in folly, but in the kind of rejoicing which partakes of the worship of the Creator of all things...

One should serve Hashem with joyfulness, whereas it is impossible to serve Hashem in the mood created by merriment, frivolity, or drunkenness.

It is clear from the Rambam that on yom tov one should not focus only on his own personal, physical enjoyment.

The Rav also quoted the Rambam at the end of the second chapter of Hilchos Chagigah. The Rambam there writes,

When a man sacrifices his festival peace offering or his peace offering of rejoicing, he should not eat of it with his children and his wife alone and think that he thus fulfills his entire duty, but it is incumbent upon him to give joy to the poor and the unfortunate, as it says, 'and the Levi, and the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, in proportion to his riches he should give them all to eat and drink.’

If you put these two Rambam’s together, it is very clear that when one is fulfilling an obligation of a mitzvah of simcha, an important part of the obligation is to be mesame’ach others as well.

Therefore, the Rav explained as follows. We know that limud Torah is one form of simcha, “pikudei Hashem yesharim misamchei lev.” This is why it is prohibited to study Torah on Tisha b'Av or when one is in mourning. Limud Torah is one way of achieving simcha; therefore, the Rav continued, teaching Torah is a way of bringing simcha to others. And, therefore, the Rav concluded, this may be why the chassan gives a d'var Torah at the wedding. The chasson has a chiyuv of simcha and part of a Jew's chiyuv of simcha is to share the joy and bring joy to others. Therefore, the chassan gives a shiur, and through the d'var Torah, he is sharing in his simcha with others.

The Rav added that this also might be the explanation for the minhag mentioned by the Rama (Orach Chaim Siman 135), that a chassan gets an aliyah during the week of sheva brochos. Originally, the old custom was that the person who received an aliyah would actually read from the Torah; he is learning Torah as he is laining and he is sharing the Torah with others. Through his own reading of the Torah, others are listening to the Torah and fulfilling the mitzvah of limud Torah as well. Therefore, the aliyah is a way of the chassan sharing his simcha with others. This is a very beautiful p'shat in that minhag as well.[v]

The minhag of saying a dvar Torah at the chassan’s tisch is well grounded in our Tradition.

As we learn more, we appreciate the beauty of all of our minhagim. We should treasure our minhagim. We should not be in a rush to change things.

[i] See 'Shulchan Ha'Ezer,' 6,6 and  'Made in Heaven,' p. 92.

[ii] See 'Made in Heaven,' p. 46-47.

For more associations between matan Torah and the wedding ceremony, see 'Made in Heaven' p. 64-65, 84-85.

See also ‘Let My Nation Serve Me’ p.288 n. 40, p.292 n.60, and p.137 n.5.

The Giving of the Torah to the Jewish people was like a wedding between Hashem and His people.

At Mount Sinai, Hashem, the groom, presented Himself before the Jewish people, His pride.

Some suggest that in a sense, the Luchos brought finality to the wedding process. At Sinai, the Jews were betrothed to Hashem. With the giving of the Luchos, they were now, so to speak, married, with the Luchos representing a kesubah.

[iii] All of these explanations are quoted in 'Made in Heaven,' p. 92.

[iv] This angle of the Rav on the minhag of the chassan to say a d'var Torah at the chassan's tisch by Rav Schechter shli”ta in his sefer  'B'ikvei Hatzon,' (siman 17, os 12).

[v] This explanation of the Rav really reflects his approach to minhagim in general. The Rav spent an inordinate amount of time in shiur explaining minhagim quoted in the Shulchan Aruch. The idea is as follows: The Rav took it as axiomatic that every minhag in Klal Yisroel is based on something in the halachic world. We do not just have “ceremonies” in Judaism; everything we do is a fulfillment or an echo of a fulfillment of some mitzvah. Therefore, the Rav would try to find the halachic basis for minhagim. What exactly are they based on? The Rav would spend much time in shiur discussing this.

The Rav based himself on the Gra. Nearly every time the Shulchan Aruch or the Rama quotes a minhag, the Vilna Gaon cites a Gemara or a Rishon as the basis for the minhag. It is not a din, it is a minhag; and still, the Gra looks for a source for the minhag. The assumption of the Gra is that legitimate minhagim are grounded in the halacha. Based on this yesod of the Gra, the Rav developed his approach to minhagim.

I wanted to mention another example of this approach. (See Nefesh Harav p.48, n.17, Shiurim L,zecher Abba Mori z”l, p. 137-139 and Eretz HaTzvi, p.13, footnote 4.)

The custom is that when we announce the New Moon, the shaliach tzibbur takes the Torah and holds it as he proclaims the upcoming month. Why?  Just before the shaliach tzibbur declares the new month, he says the tefillah of “mi she’asha nissim.” The last phrase of that tefillah is “chaverim kol yisroel.” What is the significance of saying that particular tefillah immediately prior to declaring the new month? The Rav explained as follows. Am Yisroel as a nation has a mitzvah to declare the new moon. Am Yisroel fulfilled the mitzvah through the Beis Din HaGadol. The Rav developed at great length that the Beis Din HaGadol really had two functions. One was similar, l'havdil, to the Supreme Court. That is the one we are more familiar with. The Beis Din HaGadol paskened all of the most difficult sha'alos. The other role of the Beis Din HaGadol is that it acted, l'havdil, similar to the House of Representatives. For some mitzvos, the Beis Din HaGadol represented Am Yisroel. The mitzvah of Kiddush Hachodesh is one example.The Beis Din HaGadol declared the New Moon. But when they did that, they were performing the mitzvah on behalf of Klal Ysiroel.

This is reflected in our davening. On shabbos we say, “Baruch ata Hashem mekadesh ha’shabbos.” On Yom Tov we say, “Baruch ata Hashem mekadesh Yisroel v'hazmanim.” Shabbos is kadosh from Hashem, from the zman of ma'aseh B'reishis. On yom tov, however, we play a role in the kedushas yom tov. Yom tov is based on the date of the Jewish calendar, and the New Moon is based on the declaration of the Beis Din HaGadol. Therefore, the Beis Din HaGadol plays a role in generating the kedusha of yom tov. The language of the bracha is “mekadesh Yisroel v'hazmanim.” Why? Because the Beis Din HaGadol is acting on our behalf. Hashem is mekadesh us, B'nei Yisroel, and then we, through the Beis Din HaGadol, play a role in being mekadesh the yom tov as well. So even though the Beis Din HaGadol is the one who declares the new moon, the language of the davening is “mekadesh Yisroel v'hazmanim.”

The Rav developed many proofs for this principle. When we declare the New Moon nowadays, this is an extension of the old halacha that the Beis Din HaGadol would declare the New Moon.

Rav Sadya Gaon writes that Am Yisroel is a nation based on the Torah. The Torah is the spiritual glue that binds Am Yisroel together as a nation. The shaliach tzibur, as he is declaring the new moon, is acting on behalf of Klal Yisroel as a whole. Therefore, the Rav explained, the chazan recites the tefillah of ”Chaverim kol yisroel.” First he declares that he is acting on behalf of Klal Yisroel.  And he also holds the sefer Torah.  Why?  The chazan is showing that he is expressing himself on behalf of all of Klal Yisroel by holding onto the Torah which is what binds us together as a nation. By holding onto the Torah, he is showing that he is announcing on behalf of Klal Yisroel when he declares the new moon.

This is one of many, many minhagim for which the Rav developed very beautiful and deep explanations.