In Parshas Vayigash, the narrative of Yosef and his brothers reaches its climax.  Twenty-two years after the brothers threw Yosef into the pit and twenty-two years after he was sold to Egypt, Yosef - the viceroy of Egypt, the most powerful man in the ancient world at that time - reveals himself to his shocked brothers.

With his stunning declaration - “I am Yosef, is my father still alive?  I am Yosef, who you sold to Egypt” (45:3-4) - the sons of Yaakov are reunited.  Yosef, ever benevolent and forgiving - reassures his brothers that his sale was all part of G-d’s master plan to sustain the family through the famine.  He comforts them and tells them not to be sad or angry.  Rather, they should hurriedly ascend to Canaan, inform Yaakov that his son Yosef lives, that he is the ruler over the land of Egypt, and that the family should move to Goshen, in Egypt, where Yosef will continue to provide for them. 

A question, however, remains.  Why, over the span of the twenty-two years that Yosef was in Egypt, did he not once attempt to contact his father?  Egypt is not very far from Canaan.  Why did he never send a letter, a messenger, or some mode of communication, to his father, to let Yaakov know that he was still alive? 

While many answers are provided by the various commentators, I will share one compelling and fascinating answer with you, as quoted by Rabbi Shmuel Goldin.  In his Unlocking the Torah Text, Bereishit, Rabbi Goldin quotes a contemporary Israeli scholar of Torah and Bible, Rabbi Yoel Bin-Nun, who suggests a novel answer towards Yosef’s silence to his father.  Perhaps Yosef had no way of knowing that at the time of his sale, his brothers deceived their father.  “For all Yosef knew, Yaakov never believed him to be dead.  Yosef was therefore plagued for years with the question: ‘Where is my father?  Why has no one come to look for me?’”

Given the close distance between Egypt and Canaan, Yosef deduces that his father, Yaakov, certainly had the wherewithal to search for him!  Why then, Yosef wonders to himself, has no search by my father ever taken place for me?  It must be, he mistakenly concludes, that there is no interest in finding me.  

“Eventually, Yosef’s questions concerning his father’s silence lead to deeper suspicions.  Why, he wonders, did his father send him to seek his brothers in the first place?  Wasn’t he aware of the hatred that the brothers harbored towards Yosef and the potential danger?”

Hence, Yosef comes to the erroneous - yet pressing - conclusion, that his father was part of the sale!  Not only, Yosef reasons, did Yaakov not know what the brothers did to him.  Just the opposite! Yosef reasons that the whole sale was orchestrated by his father, with the assistance of his brothers!  “In Yosef’s mind, someone  - perhaps the brothers, perhaps Leah, perhaps even G-d Himself - clearly persuaded Yaakov to cast Yosef off from the family, as Yishmael and Esav had been cast off in earlier generations.”

Rabbi Goldin notes that after years of emotionally suffering with this erroneous belief, Yosef accepts his fate.  He incredibly maintains his connection to his heritage, past, morals, and traditions, even while he accepts that fact that he has been cast off and cut away from his family.  This belief is expressed in the name he gives his first born son, Menashe.  “And Yosef called the name of his firstborn Menashe, כִּי-נַשַּׁנִי אֱלֹ-ים אֶת-כָּל-עֲמָלִי, וְאֵת כָּל-בֵּית אָבִי - for G-d has made me forget all my hardship and my father’s entire household” (41:51).

“When Yosef’s brothers suddenly and unknowingly appear before him, he is driven by a desire to [finally, once and for all] determine the truth.  All of his actions from this point on are designed to obtain information concerning his father’s apparent rejection of him.  Finally, Yehuda, rising in defense of Binyamin, inadvertently proclaims what Yosef has, for years, desperately desired to hear: ‘Your servant, my father, said to us: אַתֶּם יְדַעְתֶּם, כִּי שְׁנַיִם יָלְדָה-לִּי אִשְׁתִּי - you know that my wife (Rachel) bore me two (sons); וַיֵּצֵא הָאֶחָד, מֵאִתִּי, וָאֹמַר, אַךְ טָרֹף טֹרָף; וְלֹא רְאִיתִיו, עַד-הֵנָּה - and one has left me, and I presumed - alas - he has surely been torn to pieces, and I have not seen him since’ (44:27-28).”

Suddenly, when Yosef hears these words uttered by Yehuda, he realizes that, all these years, his father has assumed him torn to shreds and dead.  His father, then, was never involved in the sale.  His father has always loved him and believed Yosef was no longer.  When Yosef realizes that he was never rejected by his father, “moved by uncontrollable emotion, he reveals himself to his brothers” (Unlocking the Torah Text, Bereishit, p.244-245).

While this is certainly a novel and compelling proposition, and an eye-opening approach to understanding the story of Yaakov, his sons, and the sale of Yosef, it seems that a further lesson can be derived from this approach.  Perhaps the Torah is teaching us a difficult, tragic and frightening truth; one that every person must exert great effort to save his/herself from, b’ezras Hashem.  Perhaps we can deduce from here that through assumptions, misunderstandings, lack of effective communication, and covered truths, families can, R”L, be torn apart.  

As it happened to the family of Yaakov Avinu, the Torah is warning us to be considerate, cautious, kind, and careful with one’s family.  One must never assume, one must strive to correct wrong-doings as quickly as possible, one must be able to forgive and move on, and one must realize that the greatest nachas to Hashem is when His children are b’achdus.  Just as Hashem is Echad, One, His children - our families and our great nation - must strive to be echad b’achdus, working together and loving each other.  

On the very last mishnah in all of Shas (Uktzin 3:12), which speaks of the blessing of shalom, peace, the Tosfos YomTov comments: גדול השלום שכשמלך המשיח יבא אינו פותח אלא בשלום - how great is shalom, for when the King Messiah comes, he will herald the redemption with none other than the blessing of peace. May we merit it, immediately and in our days,

בברכת שבת שלום ובשורות טובות